he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
