No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
