Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
