She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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