well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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