3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
