I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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