whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize