you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
