I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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