Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
