im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
