I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
