You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
