Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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