I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize