ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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