I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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