..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
