You made me cry and you don't even care
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
