I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
