just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
