It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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