Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
