no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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