How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
