Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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