Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
