do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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