I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
