Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
