my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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