puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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