Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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