The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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