Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
