theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
