at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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