I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize