i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hippo gnu deer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize