i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
