I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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