He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
