We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This is the high leading the old right now
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
