OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
