redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You need a sexual gate keeper
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
