how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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