Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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