saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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