Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
