Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
