lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
