I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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