Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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