I will die if light touches me.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
