do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
