6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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