So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
