i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
