At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
