Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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