C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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