I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Come on in and take your pants off
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