dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
